See I'm Smiling

Why is it that the guy you want to talk to lingers just out of reach and the one you could go through life without talking to again spends the day chatting you in email? Weird. On the same note, I may be slow on the uptake, but when I make a decision, it is made. So the getting away from Mr. Toxic is exactly what I did and I have not looked back.

That being said, why does he not get it? Invited me to a party - actually 2 different parties. I politely declined the first invite - thankfully I had another engagement, so I didn't have to make an excuse up. The second invite irritated me though. Well, the snarky tone irritated me. It was the "I'm sure you will be at the blah, blah, blah party." Really, what makes you so sure? Is it the fact that we have barely spoken (except when you were insulting me or being a total jerk) in the last several months? Or the fact that I flat out told you that I didn't want you in my life? Which one gave you the security to think that I would be there? Seriously, ego check on aisle 7.

The funny thing is that we both throw annual events a few weeks apart from each other. Last year, it was a different story. Last year, he was there and it was fun. Well, his party wasn't all that fun. I should have taken that as a sign of things to come, since I was pretty miserable and it was only a few days later that he essentially ditched me on New Year's Eve. This year, I didn't invite him to my party. Why would I? Figured it would be easier on everyone (especially my friends) to leave him off the list. Why didn't he think to extend me the same courtesy?

On a side note, I always said that I wouldn't use this space to say hurtful things, but this is me venting. The way I see it, he never read this when we were together (which was always a point of contention) - he is certainly not going to start now.

Incidentally, only Jen will get the title reference. However, if you are curious, listen to the soundtrack to the Last Five Years. We saw it at the Royal George. It is the saddest, most interesting thing I have seen on stage in awhile. It is chilling to watch a relationship start and disintegrate in both directions.