Once again, I have taken a few weeks off and am feeling remorseful. Kind of like the guy who said he'd call and never did. Maybe he meant to call, but now it’s been too long and the window of opportunity has passed. Right now, I’m that guy.
For days, I had a certain song trapped in my head. This is my attempt at an exorcism.
Desperation – Why, oh, why are there ants in my apartment? Where are they from? Seriously. Last summer, they were there every so often. This summer, they seemed to have made it their home. It is unnerving. I have sprayed the baseboards with Raid – the 30-Day kind. I don’t leave food out, but still I see them. 1 in the living room. 1 in the bathroom. 1 on my bedroom floor. 2 even came to work with me last week. I am irked. I am also wondering what the building exterminator that visited and worked on every apartment 2 weeks ago did, because, whatever it was, it didn’t work.
Dislocation - What’s with the waving? I worked at the bar all weekend and was subjected to people in groups constantly waving to get my attention. Usually, waving to me while I was A) in the middle of serving 5 other customers, B) in the middle of doing every dish in the bar or C) carrying cases of beers to re-stock the coolers. At no point was I standing around eating bonbons. At no point was I standing around drinking a beer, which is what the other bartender was doing. Which exacerbates the situation a bit more…why weren’t they waving at him?
Separation – I worked on Saturday afternoon and therefore missed being with my sister on her birthday. I worked Friday night and missed calling her at midnight. She missed being home to sign for her present on Friday. All in all, I just missed her this weekend! Hope that she had a wonderful birthday!
Condemnation – The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting the same results. Sometimes, in the dating ring, I think we forget that.
Side note, I remember being a 20-something and dating the 30-year olds. Why is it now that I am a 30-year old, I am perplexed that the guys my age are dating the 20-somethings? It seems like the proverbial “what goes around comes around.” And since the 40-year olds seem to be dating the 20-year olds too, why can’t I go for the 20-something guy? I mean if Demi did it, why can’t I?
Revelation – As of July 2008, I will be the last one standing -- the last un-married person on either side of my family. (Well, at least until 2 of my cousins finalize their divorces). It is a little daunting. If you had asked me at 10 or at 23 if I would be on the verge of the 10th Anniversary of my 21st birthday and still not married, I would’ve emphatically disagreed. And yet, here I stand. Part of me really wants to be married and part of me is glad that I haven’t settled yet. My sister teases me about my late nights and crazy stories and tells me that I am regressing a bit. That may be true, but I would easily trade a late night of drinking for a movie and a walk for ice cream. I just don’t think I am willing to settle for just anything.
I want the crazy relationship my parents have. Where they have a date night on Saturdays and spend a lovely Sunday afternoon at Costco. Where the little weirdo things my mom does makes my dad just shrug and smile a bit and say, “yep, that list-writing, slightly (well, really totally) anal-retentive, kind of bossy, completely lovely lady is my wife.” Where the little weirdo things that my dad does makes my mom just shrug a bit and say, “yep, that guy wearing a dirty baseball hat, napping in the chair, snoring louder than a chainsaw, completely caring guy is my husband.” I don’t believe in a lot of dating rules. I think if you like someone you tell them. There shouldn't be a strict protocol for things. I don’t believe in telling someone how they should or should not act. I don’t believe in molding someone into what I want them to be. I do believe in finding the person that will be my partner-in-crime and my best friend. And until then, this cheese stands alone.
In Temptation – Sometimes, I just want to do the wrong thing. Kiss the wrong person. Go after the wrong guy. Go out on a work night and stay out too late and call in sick. Every now and then, I want to stir up some trouble.
Isolation – Being single in the city is fun, until your toilet decides to flood your bathroom. And you are mopping the bathroom mostly not dressed. And you are buying a plunger, because you can’t imagine that you don’t own one. (Actually, Tom came along for that part, and it was nice to have some company.) And you are plunging the toilet hoping to holy hell you know what you are doing. And then you have fixed the problem and there is no one there to celebrate the mini-victory.
Desolation – It seems that though we keep getting rain, my plants aren’t benefiting. If I forget to water them just 1 day, they get limp and mopey. I missed a few days last week and my cilantro looked thoroughly depressed. It’s hard to cultivate foliage. I mean, heck, I don’t remember to drink enough water for myself.
