Was that the "friends" speech?

So, I admit it, I have read the He’s Just Not That Into You book. (It was funny, but nothing new. I am not an expert when it comes to guys. I have tons of guy friends. Guy friends, I get or at least, I don’t feel the need to overanalyze them. Anything else is a bit of a mystery.

There was a guy – he shall remain nameless, because he is a nice guy and this is not meant to be hurtful in any way. I thought he was fun to hang around--he fits into a group of my friends, so I had seen him a few times. There was something there, but no definition applied, which is perfectly okay for the summer. It was a random Sunday afternoon / evening where drinks flow and people dance just for the fun of it. On my way home (he walked me), he held my hand on occasion (I let him dictate that) and it was fine. Until he asked me if I had any feelings I had to discuss. What? Feelings? I have known you for a few weeks…what feelings? Not to be mean or anything, but it is a bit early to be having a feelings conversation….all of this I related to him. He seemed taken aback that as a female, I didn’t have feelings to discuss.

When we got to the door, I got this strange self-deprecating speech on intelligence (his) when it came to women and how he liked me and liked that we were friends. Emphasis on the friends word. I can’t really detail the speech here -- because I don’t think that is fair – and because I’m not sure I understood it. I had a confused look upon my face and finally asked him if this was the “friends” speech – I am still not sure of his answer, but am interpreting it to be that. So many things were weird about the whole encounter. I think that I told him that I had once been dumped in email by a guy I didn’t know I was dating (probably not a good example, but I was really tired at the time) and that was clearer than this entire conversation. Pretty harsh, but it was not intended to be. I let him off the hook by saying it was okay (whatever it is) and hugging him goodnight.

I went upstairs texting my friend, Jen, and vowing to write off men for the summer – which of course is not the truth, but merely a statement made for dramatic effect in my short text message. It was probably the shell shock of an entirely bizarre conversation that made me type it. I told my work friend (the one who encouraged the blog, so if it stinks, blame her) about this incident and asked her how as we get older, guys still mess up the “friends” speech.

Seriously. It is a 3-parter….”I think you are a really (INSERT COMPLIMENT HERE – nice, great, sweet, adorable, cute, friendly, amazing, hot…) girl / woman, BUT (INSERT EXCUSE HERE – I am not ready for a relationship, the timing is not right, I am bad at relationships, I’m moving to Yemen…) and I think we would be better off as friends.” Simple. To the point. Men have been giving this speech since the dawn of time; you would think they would have a genetic predisposition to it by now. Well, I guess I will see what the next encounter brings. Maybe it will make sense then. (I should mention now that I am a Cubs Fan, which means that I am eternally optimistic throughout everything).