Folsom Prison Blues

I have a million things to say about a million things from the last few weeks and I will get to all of them soon. However, I thought that I would comment on a little 'celebutante' (who knew that was a word) known as Miss. Paris Hilton.

Today, "A judge has ordered Paris Hilton returned to jail and she was taken from court screaming." (from www.nbc5.com)

Before I continue, I state the following:

1) I am not jealous of Paris Hilton – I think she is vacuous, wasteful and oblivious to the world around her.
2) I do not wish to be Paris Hilton – While I would like her $$, I couldn’t stand living such an unfulfilled life.

I find Paris Hilton to be the annoying faux-celebrity that just doesn’t go away. She offers nothing important to society – except for her advocacy of small dogs and weird pets. She has all the money in the world and she does nothing to make it a better place. Imagine if Paris sent her clothing budget for a year to help in the Sudan or Darfur or for a woman’s shelter or for a soup kitchen. Imagine what she could do if she attempted to be a contributing member of society. But she doesn’t even try. Instead, she lives “The Simple Life.”

Now, most days, I wouldn’t even bother with a Paris Hilton. I don’t look for her on a red carpet. I don’t watch her and Nicole make fun of local people who work for a living. I don’t even want to stay in a Hilton anymore. Most days, I don’t even care what she does. Except for the days when she breaks the law. Because, here’s the thing, money doesn’t put you above the law. Just ask Michael Jackson, Robert Downey Jr., Ken Lay, Jeff Skilling, Martha Stewart, etc… The only thing that money buys you is a good defense team.

I thought that it was great that a judge sentenced her to prison. Not because the little pampered girl was going to have to eat turkey-bologna on white for lunch (though, admittedly, that was an added bonus), but the sentence was appropriate to the infraction.

And let me side note for a quick second and ask this: Why the hell does the Hilton heiress ever find cause to drive drunk? You have billions! Hire a driver! Rent a helicopter! Hell, take a damn taxi! But, she didn’t. More than once, she didn’t. And because she didn’t, she found herself getting sentenced to 45-days in prison. (Personally, I think her mom should’ve joined her, given her completely disrespectful outbursts within the courtroom. Like mother, like daughter, I guess).

Let’s be honest, 45 days in prison sucks, but it is only 45 days. And really, she only had to do half of it. And when she was done, she could return to her vacuous life and have a great story to tell all the girls at the club. I think had she served her time Martha-style, we would’ve all gained a smidge of respect for the girl. Instead, she faked a cramp (I am only speculating) and got the sheriff to send her home early – 20 days early. Much to the chagrin of the judge who sentenced her.

Which brings us to this morning’s shenanigans in the courtroom, culminating in Paris getting led out, kicking and screaming her way back to prison.

Part of me feels bad for her, because nothing in her life has prepared her for this. Part of me wonders (thanks to my lovely, empathetic and sweet sister), whether this isn’t an over-punishment. Part of me is glad that a judge treated her like any other person. All of me hopes that there is a moral to this story.